WE HAVE OFFICIALLY RUN OUT OF NAMES! / by Bo Gerard

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Coming up with a name for your performing business is not as easy as some might think.  But It seems to be even harder out there in the non-showbusiness world.  Naming new things has always been a process of weighing tradition, clarity and uniqueness.  But, as is evidenced by the blog below, it appears that the world has finally run out of names and everyone is grasping at nomenclatural straws.

ALL NAMES ARE VERY REAL!!!

I recently performed at event in Dallas at a venue called “7 for Partying”.  Yep, the number “7” and then “for Partying”.  Did the first 6 attempts fail?  Oh, and for you golfers out there, we have the “Waste Management Open”.  I don’t even want to think what is in the sand trap.  Then, for a concert, you can head over to the “Ashley Home Furniture HomeStore Pavilion”, the “Jobing.com Arena”, or my personal favorite “The MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre” (formerly the “1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre”).  If it weren’t true, it would be funny.

City Planners are not immune to the worldwide name deficit either.  There is a street in Plano that I drive by a lot called “USA”.  That’s it!  Not USA Ave. or USA Lane or USA Court.  Just “USA”.  So, someone’s address is 47 USA, Plano, TX 75093, USA.  There are scores of other meaning-deficient street names across the country.  A Wahington suburb gives us “Frying Pan Road”.  Killingworth, Connecticut has a “Roast Meat Hill Road”.  In California’s Mojave Desert, there’s a “Zzyzx Road”.  Cincinnati has an “Error Place”.  And in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, the appropriately named “Duh Drive”.

And from a survey of 400,000 parents, who shared their baby's name with researchers in 2016, comes these charming new baby names:  For girls - Adore, Alaska, Elspeth, Honesti, Nimrat, and Zyra.  For boys - Daxten, Ebenezer, Hyatt, Kruze, Perseus, and Zyron.  I am hoping Zyra and Zyron are not in the same family.  And who would name their sweet little girl NIMRAT?

Chalk it up to branding, individualism or just a lack of foresight, but I think the problem is truly that we have just plum run out of dang names!  Well, I’m just going to jump in my car (an Opel Grandland X), and head over to the drug store to get some Oscillococcinum for the flu-like symptoms brought on by thinking about these crazy names.