Normally, a rewards program’s function is to reward loyalty to customers who repeatedly use your product or services; giving customers advanced access to new products, special sales coupons or free merchandise. However, I have now created the “Bo Gerard Rewards Program”, and I am giving the rewards to the person who deserves it the most – ME!!!
I have been leaving my sweat and heart out on the boards for 40 years, and I have earned a lot of frequent performer miles. It’s time I started using those miles. From this day hence, unless my economic situation changes dramatically, I will no longer:
1) Perform outdoors in the dreaded Texas summer heat. How hot is it in Texas in the summertime? Once, while I was performing for an event in the Infomart’s parking lot (outdoors - in August), the glue that held the soles of my shoes to the uppers melted and both of my shoes came apart in a gooey mess.
2) I will no longer book gigs that experience tells me will definitely be trouble. Goodbye 3-year-old birthday parties! Goodbye strolling gigs in a Cash Advance storefront! Goodbye gigs that are really just thinly veiled comedy telegrams! And goodbye to doing trade shows dressed as Abe Lincoln!
3) I will no longer audition for anything. Period! I will gladly take a meeting with a client and discuss why I am the right guy for the job, but I will not do a private show - in someone’s office - for two people. That has never gotten anyone a job anyway.
4) As a newly joined member of “Bookaholics Anonymous”, I will refrain from over-zealously booking three shows in one day, in three different locations, with just enough time to get to each gig.
5) I will no longer perform for anyone after midnight. No High School lockdowns, no late-night house parties, and no strolling gigs in loud, dark, nightclubs at boutique hotels. I guarantee you, nothing good happens at 2 am at someone’s backyard pool party.
My rewards Program does have some Black-Out Dates, so I will happily continue to perform at all of the other gigs we variety performers find ourselves booked into. Bookaholics Anonymous notwithstanding, I still truly enjoy making people laugh and gasp at my antics.