MAGIC REWARDS PROGRAM - News from Bo / by Bo Gerard

Normally, a rewards program’s function is to reward loyalty to customers who repeatedly use your product or services; giving customers advanced access to new products, special sales coupons or free merchandise.  However, I have now created the “Bo Gerard Rewards Program”, and I am giving the rewards to the person who deserves it the most – ME!!!

I have been leaving my sweat and heart out on the boards for 40 years, and I have earned a lot of frequent performer miles.  It’s time I started using those miles.  From this day hence, unless my economic situation changes dramatically, I will no longer:

1) Perform outdoors in the dreaded Texas summer heat.  How hot is it in Texas in the summertime?  Once, while I was performing for an event in the Infomart’s parking lot (outdoors - in August), the glue that held the soles of my shoes to the uppers melted and both of my shoes came apart in a gooey mess.

2)  I will no longer book gigs that experience tells me will definitely be trouble.  Goodbye 3-year-old birthday parties!  Goodbye strolling gigs in a Cash Advance storefront!  Goodbye gigs that are really just thinly veiled comedy telegrams!  And goodbye to doing trade shows dressed as Abe Lincoln!

3)  I will no longer audition for anything.  Period!  I will gladly take a meeting with a client and discuss why I am the right guy for the job, but I will not do a private show - in someone’s office -  for two people.  That has never gotten anyone a job anyway.

4)  As a newly joined member of “Bookaholics Anonymous”, I will refrain from over-zealously booking three shows in one day, in three different locations, with just enough time to get to each gig.

5) I will no longer perform for anyone after midnight.  No High School lockdowns, no late-night house parties, and no strolling gigs in loud, dark, nightclubs at boutique hotels.  I guarantee you, nothing good happens at 2 am at someone’s backyard pool party.

My rewards Program does have some Black-Out Dates, so I will happily continue to perform at all of the other gigs we variety performers find ourselves booked into.  Bookaholics Anonymous notwithstanding, I still truly enjoy making people laugh and gasp at my antics.