I recently read an article: “13 SYMPTOMS THAT YOU ARE HAVING A “MIDLIFE CRISIS” and had an epiphany! I realized that I have every one of those symptoms every single day. And this has been going on for the last 40 years.
Being a contract performer and a small business owner, I am constantly going into new and challenging situations. This has certainly kept me on my toes for the last 40 years, but it can take its toll in other ways. I believe the reason I never experienced the typical “Mid Life Crisis” that many men have gone through, (divorce wife, buy sports car, find self) is that I have a midlife crisis every single day. It’s my Midday Crisis. Below is the list of SYMPTOMS from the article, with the corresponding time of day I experience each symptom.
LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR AND YOU NO LONGER RECOGNIZE YOURSELF. 6:15 am – when I pass my bathroom mirror and see my Father looking back at me.
DESIRING TO QUIT A GOOD JOB. 6:45am - as I head into my home office and realize the computer backup I was running failed.
WANTING TO RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING. 6:50am – when I look at my calendar and see “that gig I never should have booked” coming up in a few days.
A DESIRE TO GET INTO PHYSICAL SHAPE. 8am – as I head to the gym. This desire dissipates before I actually reach the gym.
IRRITABILITY OR UNEXPECTED ANGER. 8:05am – as I try to find a parking spot at the gym. God forbid I should walk a few extra steps on my way to the Stairmaster.
DESIRE FOR PHYSICAL, FREE FLOWING MOVEMENT. 8:08 – as I climb onto the mind-numbing Stairmaster, putting my brain into gerbil-mode.
EXPLORING NEW MUSICAL TASTES. 8:10am - as I stand on the Stairmaster, searching for an album on iTunes that will help me bear the mind-numbing Stairmaster workout.
SUDDEN DESIRE TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY A NEW INSTRUMENT. 8:15am – as I listen to a song from 1975; the last time I was in a bar band. (Check out my hair!!!)
SHIFTING SLEEP PATTERNS. 9:30am – as I consider taking a post workout nap.
A DESIRE TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH DIFFERENT SETTINGS. 10am – as I wake from my post-workout nap and try to remember where I am and what year it is.
UPSET AT WHERE SOCIETY IS GOING. 10:15am – as I turn on the TV news and have to quickly turn it off again, before it plunges me into a depression.
DESIRING A SIMPLE LIFE. 10:30am – as I’m back in the office, trying to figure out why one of my agents is not getting my emails.
KEEP RE-ASKING YOURSELF: “WHERE AM I GOING WITH MY LIFE?” 11am – as I realize that I just deleted all my email settings in Microsoft Outlook.
There you have it! It’s not even noon, and I’ve gone through all 13 SYMPTOMS OF A MID-LIFE CRISIS. This afternoon I'll get to work on “11 SYMPTOMS YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT WITH TWINS”!