7 THINGS I WON’T DO AGAIN IN 2018 – Thoughts from Bo. (Comments from the NSA) / by Bo Gerard

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#1   I will never again put the word “Bombing” in the title of my blog.  It think that particular blog got flagged by the NSA, because Google has not processed my sitemap submission since I posted that blog.  If you don’t know what a sitemap is, you probably don’t need to know.  (“Mentioning us in this blog, and displaying our logo on Facebook, is just going to make things worse.” – The NSA)

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#2   No matter how good the video on YouTube is, I will never again read the comments, because it will make you hate all humans.  What is the matter with people!!!! (“We here at the NSA are reading all comments, to insure your safety.”)

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#3   I will never again go looking for either a crate OR a barrel at the national chain store “Crate & Barrel”.  Talk about false advertising.  It’s like naming a pool cleaning business “The Seriously Funny Magic of Bo Gerard”!  (“The NSA has a man hiding in the stemware section at Crate & Barrel right now.”)

#4   I will not feel obligated to buy the new “next big thing”.  My Fidget spinner sits idle, and this years’ new hot trend, “Squishies”, doesn’t look promising.  (“Would you be interested in donating your fidget spinner to the NSA children’s fund?”)

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#5   When doing research on an Oktoberfest theme, I will never again type “strap-on leather fun” into Google.  (“We saw that, kinky monkey!”)

#6   I will never again pet the sweaty things, but I will continue to not sweat the petty things.  You don’t need to know why.  (“We know why – NSA - Never Sweaty Again.”)

#7   I will never again let “Friends” Fabricated Facebook Lives make me feel inferior or less accomplished.  I will henceforth un-follow all “friends” who post embellished accomplishments with false humility.  (“The NSA, however, will continue to follow everyone – all the time.  We’re the NSA, and we’re nosing around your private life to keep you safe!”)